Kenneth Kaunda meets Awo, Zik & Bello at Heaven’s gate

Twenty-four hours after doctors at Maina Soko military hospital in Lusaka, Zambia, pronounced him dead, Kenneth Kaunda (KK) arrived at the large gold Pearly gates. Angel Gabriel stood at the gates with a silver sword in hand and a vuvuzela over his shoulders. He led Kenneth Kaunda through the gate without looking into the book for his name.

Angel Gabriel: Welcome, KK, the great teacher. How was your cruise?

Kaunda: Lovely! I’m surprised that you called me teacher. I last taught in 1949.

Angel Gabriel: I know. You last were in the classroom with chalk in hand in 1949. But you continued to teach every day after with your safari-suit moral examples. That is what earned you a place in this coveted estate.

Kaunda: Does it mean that all my numerous accomplishments after being a teacher mean nothing?

Angel Gabriel: Accomplishments like what?

Kaunda: With the likes of Zik of Africa, Jomo Kenyatta of Kenya, Hastings Banda of Malawi, I’m one of Africa’s foremost liberation heroes, a Freedom fighter — the last of my generation. I was a party leader, President of the Republic of Zambia, Chancellor of the University of Zambia, OAU chairman, a great supporter of the Non-aligned Movement, global statesman, holder of an honorary doctorate…