Transcript of Joe Biden’s aborted meeting with Bola Tinubu at the UN

(After an on-camera handshake at the UN Plaza Hotel and traditional boilerplate statements from Joe Biden and, later, Bola Tinubu, where the two presidents expressed their desires to continue and advance the age-long commitment to building on their two countries’ shared values… with a mandatory mention of protecting and preserving democracy and democratic ideals across the West African sub-region, strengthening securities and advancing economic growth and prosperity for “our peoples,” the handlers of the US President dismissed the media and the two leaders went into a closed-door meeting with just two aides… and that was when this imagined conversation followed.)

Joe Biden: Mr. President, thank you for coming.

Bola Tinubu: My pleasure, sir.

Joe Biden: You were the only African leader I looked forward to meeting at this UN General Assembly.

Bola Tinubu: Why did you leave me hanging alone in India at the G-20?

Joe Biden: Not at all. I love that your sister, the president-general of the World Trade Organization. What’s her name again?

Bola Tinubu: She is not my sister. She is just another Nigerian.

Joe Biden: Alright, man. But she is fantastic. I always love the colors of her…